[Report This]Date: 07/12/2006 01:20 am Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
I stumbled on this story quite by accident, and was instantly enchanted. Jessie is a funny and terribly interesting character and I look forward to reading more of her. (As a side note: I adore Fred and George dubbing her the third twin, such a funny scene.)
Well done. :)
Author's Response: I've been quite busy...there are more, less-polished chapters at That Other Site, which will eventually make it here as I get the time to make them worthy.
[Report This]Date: 02/16/2006 04:17 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
Yet again, a wonderful chapter. Jessie's interactions with Charlie are so sweet! I just love her -- she's someone I'd like to know, and so are all the others. The idea of having her make matching watches for the Order is absolutely inspired. And where did you learn so much about clocks?
I will say that I feel the Muggle world intruding a bit too often here. For instance, Neville's grandmother, being an elderly Pureblood, would never ask for an envelope -- she'd write Neville a scroll. (Of course, Jessie could give her a rubber band instead of a string with which to tie it up, and explaining rubber bands to Mrs. Longbottom could be highly entertaining.) Also, Jessie "turning on" her mother's phonograph seemed wrong. Where's the electricity coming from? Diagon Alley wouldn't have it, being a magical area. I'm comfortable with the presence of a Muggle phonograph, but it would seem more natural if she used her wand to fire it up. I'd have had her murmur a spell in its direction, just to maintain the magical flavor of things.
These mistakes are the easiest sort to make when writing fantasy -- they're things we take so for granted that we don't even notice that they don't quite fit. I'm wondering if you'd be interested in a beta. I write (albeit not fiction) professionally, and you can find a few little ficlets of mine on various Sycophant Hex sites. Let me know if you're interested! I'm maudite@gmail.com.
And can I just say again how much I adore this story? I woke up thinking, "Yes! One more chapter!" and leapt out of bed with more energy than any other morning in the last two weeks. Thank you for giving us such a lovely story.
[Report This]Date: 02/16/2006 09:35 am Title: A Clock
Absolutely fantastic! Your storytelling is pleasingly low-key and beautifully detailed, like an intricate quilt -- I just love it. I'm enjoying all your characterizations, especially the twins. It's so perfectly in character for them to help out their neighbors, and I especially like the way you've built a real community out of Diagon Alley, working in details from the books along with the original material to paint a realistic and wholly believable landscape. You convey Jessie's passion for her work with both elegance and eloquence, as well as a keen eye for those little details that make or break a story. This first chapter is just plain superlative -- one of the best fanfics I've ever read. (Unfortunately, I just noticed the time and realized I'll have to wait till tomorrow to read chapter 2. I anticipate greatness!)
[Report This]Date: 01/14/2006 05:28 pm Title: A Clock
nice well written would love to know what Molly wrote in the Howler
[Report This]Date: 11/30/2005 09:07 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
Not usually an OC fan but Jessie jumps right off the screen--she's endearing. You clearly did copious research on the art of clock/watchsmithing and it's fascinating. Looking forward to the next chapter, please.
Author's Response: I actually did take one of my friends' watch apart recently. Needless to say, if there was any doubt about this being a blatant self-insertion -no!
[Report This]Date: 11/15/2005 10:46 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
OMG! i love it! i was laughing so hard at some parts my dog ran away! in general, i hate OCs, but Jessie is the COOLEST!
[Report This]Date: 11/14/2005 12:30 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
How wonderful! You've continued the story! Tell me, though - is this chapter an exclusive to The Burrow, or did it get posted on The Site Which Should Not Be Named? I'm looking quite forward to more story. Thanks tremendously for continuing one. Chapter 1 COULD have stood as a one-shot, leaving the reader to fill in the rest of the story. Well done, m'dear - well done.
Author's Response: It is from That Place originally, but soon it'll be here and then continue on as a SH exclusive past...I think the thirteenth chapter. It's for quality reasons (I'm finally good enough!) and also...rating.
[Report This]Date: 11/11/2005 12:17 am Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
Yanno - I was going to log in today and leave a long pleading review against the first chapter, begging you to continue with stories of Jessie, because for some reason I thought it was a one-shot.
Instead I find another delectable chapter awaiting my attentions, nicely moving the plot towards a bit of Jessie / Charlie action.
This is one of the best stories I've read lately. I've never enjoyed an OFC as much as I do Jessie. She's a brilliant character, and I can see that you've worked hard to get into the mindset of pureblood wizard clocksmith. You've worked in the cannon brilliantly and then expanded on it expertly. I really look forward to updates of this story, I think it's amazing. Thank you so much.
Author's Response: So far I have about twelve chapter written that just want editing. My beta and I are on that.
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 10:00 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
I am thoroughly enjoying your story. What is a throughly? You’re doing a great job at building Jessie into an interesting and unique character that is someone others can relate to easily.
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 09:47 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
I am throughly enjoying this story.
Author's Response: Good!
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 09:12 pm Title: A Clock
She thinks she's not that good at magic but, is just oblivious to things not conected with her art of clockmaking. She's a doll. Keep up the great writing
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 09:08 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
I love this story!!!! She is best OC I've read yet. I love the way she handled Neville's grandmother kinda slick like a sells person should be. She's so passionate about her profession its great. Looking forward to the updates
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 05:52 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
I'm really starting to like Jessie. She's fun. great story -keep it going!
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 05:00 pm Title: Chapter Two - An Alarm Clock
Another chapter posted! Thank you very much!
[Report This]Date: 11/10/2005 04:56 pm Title: A Clock
Awesome story line! I love this original character. I can't wait to see what developes between Jessie and Charlie!
[Report This]Date: 11/08/2005 07:39 pm Title: A Clock
I'm so thrilled to see this story here. I haven't read from That Other Site in such a long time yet I remembered this story from then. It's always nice to see authors take up the challenge of "the story behind the story." It holds up quite well, and I'm hopeful that the positive feedback you recieve here will spur more stories from you. Please - keep up the good work.
Author's Response: I'm pleased you like it. I made the attempt to get the story edited and improved enough to make the cut here, partly because I like a challenge and partly because That Other Site only archives certain ratings and I've gotten a lot of requests to step things up a bit. I'm not sure how that will go, but I'll try to post the New Improved Version as fast as possible.
[Report This]Date: 11/08/2005 02:15 pm Title: A Clock
I am very happy to see that you are posting this story here. I have it bookemarked so that I can follow any new chapters. You are a talented writer and I very much enjoy reading your stories!
Author's Response: Glad you like it. I shall try and post the chapters in the newly revised and improved form as fast as is humanly possible.
[Report This]Date: 11/07/2005 10:32 pm Title: A Clock
A roundabout journey to a lovely ending! I adore Charlie Weasley - thanks for a good dragonboy fix tonight!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. The tale shall continue.
[Report This]Date: 11/07/2005 06:06 pm Title: A Clock
I like Jessie. She was a Ravenclaw she can't be too bad at magic. Looking forward to updates.
Author's Response: I'm glad you like her...OCs are tricky, and I try my best to avoid cliches. If a character is too powerful, it tends to set off the proverbial Mary Sue Alarm. I also suspect that maybe the reason she isn't too good at magic might be because she's a bit distracted. She might also not realize she has certain talents, just as she doesn't realize that 200 Galleons a day is a lot. (I used the Galleons to Muggle Currency converter at the HP Lexicon -she's a financial idiot.)