Very interesting premise. I really enjoyed it! Probably a good thing Lily got killed off though, not sure her secrets would have stayed hidden too long - imagine Draco wondering where his kid's green eyes and red hair came from!!
Is this post GoF or post OP? It's remarkaby canon for a fanfic written well before things were sorted out. Well, like the White Rabbit, I must hurry off mutering "No time! No time!" I have to go read another chapter :-)
I really like this Lilly. She is a surprise. Patil is right about the Gryphondor/ Slytherin rivalry, for that matter so is Boot. You have a good sense of humor. I especially liked "Oldyfart." All through the canon I kept waiting for someone to point out to the snake faced bastard that not only was he not a pureblood, he was not even fully human, or even fully a mammal. I mean, he was at least half reptile. He needed someone to stand up to him, pull his pants off, and spit, or at least laugh, in his face. I sometimes find myself wishing the Hermione had hit him with a stinging hex as she disapperated while leaping from the window at Godric's Hollow. See you in chapter three.
What beautiful story! I stumbled across it on ff.net and came here to read it all. I particularly like how you've dealt so realistically with Tom Riddle's motivations and the realities of the wizarding population. You've made me consider and realize several of the naging inconsistencies in JKR's vision-- though I think it a testament to that vision that she's given you so much material to work with and draw conclusions from. I'd love to know what else you have written and if you've gone on to write professionally. This is so well crafted, plotted and written that if you haven't, you really should. Thanks for sharing your time and talent, and enriching this fandom.
Really brilliant. Very moving. I'm not sure what else to say except that I very thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing.
Author's Response: Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to review!
This is like the best fan fiction I have ever read!
The ending is great!!! Though i am really sad about Lily!
Would you like to continue this with a new story?? would be a good idea!!!
And once again........I just LOVED it !!!!!!!!!! :)
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! No, I hadn't really thought about a sequel, but right now I'm waiting for book 7 to come out. After that I may consider more HP fiction, and a short sequel might now be impossible. My story is now so completely out of canon with HBP that another AU would hardly hurt!
It's 7:00 a.m., and I really should be getting to work... and I rarely review. But. This is one of the best fics I've read, period, and I am astounded there are so few (although uniformly positive) reviews. I know what it is to labour over a project (not fiction, alas, I leave that to talented folk like you), so I am compelled to respond.
I confess that I thought at first the premise of Lily's return was a bit contrived (I believe an earlier reviewer voiced similar fears about a "Mary Sue"), but the absolute quality of your writing, and the intricate plot and character development lured me in past my fears. The best things about this fic: 1) very, very clever plot, as others have said; 2) outstanding "in character" and also realistic feel to your characters. You removed the gloss of perfection that so many fanfic writers apply; the "baddies" (or maybe we should just say "not-so-goodies") like Draco and Lucius remained completely in character, rehabilitated more by self-interest than by some saccharin epiphany, and Snape remained... well, snarky is so overused, but honestly, he really is not a very nice man, as he has the self-insight to observe in your fic. Your teenagers were also realistic, Hermione and Ron in particular. And Lily's teenaged back-and-forthing about who she was attracted to (Draco? Snape?) was much more typical than any kind of blind devotion often written. 3) You are adept at subtle humour, and the absolute best... I laughed out loud: "She would have important, respected work, and he would have a gifted colleague with whom he could collaborate and confer. For years and years and years." Not the most subtle marriage planning on Snape's part, but it will do.
If I could change anything, it would be only two things: I would have made Lily slightly less perfect (this may be unfair, as on the other hand, I am so relieved that she is full-fledged and smart, and not, as in canon, only admirable in her maternal willingness to die); and in your final chapter, I would have wrapped up Harry's point of view as well. I do realise he was not the central character here, but he is an important one, and I thought merited at least the attention that Lupin or Malfoy did. Small, small quibbles.
Overall, well-crafted, clever, captivating, true to canon but, as with the best fanfics, expanding, embellishing and yes, even improving it. Bravo!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for such a thoughtful review. I very much appreciate you taking the time to share your praise and your critique. I'm so glad you picked up on Lucius and Draco! Looking back on the story, I can see things I wish I had done somewhat differently--and I take your point about Harry. About Lily--my own concepts have gone back and forth a number of times, but consider this--it's just possible that McGonagall was right (which could explain the apparent perfection--she wasn't painted with any obvious flaws). If you ever have time, I hope you'll take a look at the illustrated version at RedHen. It takes forever to load, but it's very beautiful. Thanks again.
i cant remember if ive reviewed this before, but ive just read it again cos im ill, and its still fantastic! you are a stunning writer and you really should publish something. the world needs someone with your talent!
why do i always have to cry!? this story is stunning to say the very least, when i first read it i thought it was just a clever way to introduce another mary sue, but your plot is incredible. there really is no end to the compliments i can give you for this, but as i have piles of homework to do i think i'll leave it here. wel done, this is fantastic.
Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to review! I do appreciate it.
This is one of the best things I've read in a long time. I loved your characters, especially Draco's perceptions on why he really hates Harry and Hermione/Snape's early relationship. I found your theories on Voldemort really interesting, and your links to Egyptian mythology really intriguing. I even had a little weep at the ending for poor Snape and Draco and all of them, who'd lost something with Lily's departure, but also believe that there was no other way the book could have ended.
I hope to read more of your work in the future!
Author's Response: Thank you for your very kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed so many of the aspects of the story that I particularly enjoyed writing!
Excellent! Beautiful end! I was sniffling and teary-eyed for Snape there when Lily was whisked away. I especially like how Hermione and Draco sounded more like typical teens (to my ear) rather than adults. Draco was a little whiney, Hermione was a little over eager and talkative. It made them more realistic. The last Hermione fic I read, she was so brilliant, sophisticated and cynical as to be unbelivable. Loved that Snape conjured a dress for her.
Author's Response: Thank you for your reviews. I appreciate you taking the time! I put a lot of work into this fic, and it's a real pleasure to know someone enjoyed it.
Lots of interesting thoughts! An equitable handling of Slytherin House.
This is a wonderful story! I love your take on Lily, as well as your theories about Voldemort's goals. Those are very interesting. And you wrap things up so nicely in the end - sad, but happy, too, with the sense that anything else wouldn't work. Major congratulations at accomplishing such a piece!
Author's Response: I appreciate your review! I enjoyed writing the story, and was sorry when I finished!
Absolutely excellent! I can't think why you don's have more reviews than you do! It was so refreshing not to read a work steeped in smut. Thank you :)
Author's Response: And there you may have your answer! There does seem to be a preference for the erotic at this site, but that was not the story I was writing. Thank you for your kind review!
I really, really liked this fic. I thought it was innovative and thoughtful, but at the same time true to the books and what could conceivably happen. I especially enjoyed the part that ancient Egyptian mythology plays in the story, and how you depicted the Halls of the Dead and the gods was just enthralling. I am obsessed with the ancient Egyptian culture and beliefs, and so to see the religion and practices portrayes so accuratly (according to what we know, so far), just made my heart happy.
I wish that I could give this story more than just a ten out of ten, because it deserves more. I definitely am going to recommend this fic to all of my friends, because it is so good.
Thank you for giving me hope that not all fanfiction is as bad as it seems out there.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! It's always a thrill when someone really likes your work!
That is so incredibly cool. Would you like to be my new best freind? I haven't finished the fic, but I thought this chapter was so outragously awesome that I had to review on it. Also I have the jitters. So excuse any spelling grammer or other mistakes in this reveiw. So Cool... ~Willow
I started reading this at MN, then finished it at Red Hen--with those lovely details. I thoroughly enjoyed your story! Wonderful plot, great canonization, and incredible details. I give this story my highest recommendation. One of my absolute favorites!
Author's Response: Thank you for your very kind review. It's gratifying when hard work is appreciated!