This is a very good story. Stories about Harry and his world are worth telling even if our friend and queen, JKR, has already told the whole story to absolute perfection.
This is because Harry and his world have come alive in so many of us around the world and because many of it's people are, and will remain, our friends.
You have a real knack for plotting and, so, I can not help but believe that you did not start your tale without having a very good idea where you were going.
You also set up the chapters themselves very well. As but one example of this, normally I do not like suprise chapter endings; they seem to me to be little more than cheap attempts to get the reader to turn the page. But the last sentence of your first chapter brought me out of my chair, literally, and I was in a moving train at the time, surrounded by other commuters.
I have read all that you have posted and have only three things more to say:
1) You write well and, if you enjoy it, please keep doing it because there are alot of people, me included, who would like to read your work;
2) I notice that one of your reviewers compared you, disfavorably, to JKR, to which I will only say that the primary difference that I notice between your writing and her's is that she finsihed what she started.
3) I am a 58 year old man, a father and a grandfather. I am what we here, in the United States, call a "professional," which means, among other things, that I have chosen a fairly demanding way of making a living. Through all of this, and over the years, I have learned that Woody Allen was right aboout at least one thing - "Half of life is just showing up." It might be time for you to set down, put pen to paper, and show up again.
Great story! You are a fabulos good writer!
I´m trying to become a member but the password won´t come it´s gone more than 24h! How long did it take you?
Author's Response: The password should come immediately, I think. Thanks for the review.
mate, just leave it JK Rowling in future. You made a good attempt, but don't take it any further. It lacks, the charm, wit, chracter and just plain "I want to see what happens next". Your whole story feels like you had one of the books open whilst you were reading it..., just didn't feel right.
Nice attempt but sorry mate, it just dosn't cut it.
Author's Response: So you think I copied JKR, but it's not as good as hers? If you want her, you shouldn't be reading fanfiction at all. I'm sorry my story didn't measure up to your high standards. (Odd to call me mate when this is an anonymous review.)
*wrings hands worriedly* Oh no... something's happened to Remus... *tries to remain calm, but doesn't quite manage it* No... let him be all right, *please!* Can't lose our dear Moony! Another great chapter, cindale! Very nice! And more new elements! Draco's distancing himself from his housemates, Ron and Hermione's relationship, the lack of Ginny appearances, Harry's reinstatement to the Quidditch team, and the Sorting Hat's message, which is a very good one I think. It's going to be difficult, though, for Harry and Ron to move beyond their prejudices. But they've got to learn that not all Slytherins are members of the Inquisitional Squad. Blaise Zabini and Daphne Greengrass are just two mysterious figures in Slytherin and little is known about them. Once again, excellent job! I shall sit and hope that Remus is okay... *bites nails worriedly*
What!!!! they attacked the creevey's house!!!! that is not cool!!!!! Great story by the way i love it UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my... a great deal going on in this chapter... the destruction of the Burrow, Percy and Pettigrew's deaths... renewed lessons with Snape, OWL results, the Umbitch still making problems, Aunt Petunia acting human, and now something has happened to the Creeveys. Oh no... not Colin and Dennis... as annoying as they are, they're cute kids... Still, wonderful chapter, cindale! Very nice! I'm really enjoying this story so far! It's a great read! :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for your reviews!
Great story! I do hope you continue!!!
*falls off of chair* Wow! What a first chapter! That was really something! And the Burrow's burning?! *chokes* Oh no... I hope the Weasleys are alright! Really, cindale, that was a great chapter! So many hints at different things... Remus and Petunia know one another, Petunia and Lily's relationship was a close one at one point, Remus is now Harry's guardian, and the BURROW IS BURNING! *wrings hands frantically* Wonderful job! Can't wait for more!