[Report This]Date: 05/17/2007 05:54 pm Title: In Which Mary Goes Home
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?????
[Report This]Date: 04/12/2006 03:22 pm Title: Which Concludes with Bellatrix Receiving a Visitor
I am so sorry but I just read this whole thing through and simply cannot get into it. It's not exactly an hp story to me you seemed better off using this as an original story. The story is just so far from the hp world I can only really appreciate this story if I am studying it from another world look. You have a marvelous talent for writing, creating imagery and setting a pace. But astonishingly you created a piece of work that to me seems to have nothing to do with the hp world other than names and settings.
Author's Response: I knew when I started writing this that I was stepping a little out of bounds. I am sorry, however, if this has alienated you, as a reader. If you want to stick with it, I can promise you will be seeing more HP characters in the future and a lot more details about what is actually going on. If not, well then I hope you can find a story you really enjoy. After all reading is one of the greatest joys in life and should never be a chore.
[Report This]Date: 04/09/2006 08:05 am Title: In Which An Attack Occurs On Roshire Way
Wow...very powerful beginning.
Author's Response: Thanks. I hope this proves to be a powerful story. Don't worry though, not everything will be quite so dramatic.
[Report This]Date: 04/09/2006 02:47 am Title: In Which Chaos Ensues at Azkaban
Eeee... yikes. LOL. What a robe! Teehee. I didn't quite understand that part about the demons. I guess I'm a bit nosey. I like to know where they came from, what he did with them, and all that good stuff. Coming soon I assume? Is he letting out the other inmates? Still wondering how it ties with chapter one.
Author's Response: Don't worry everything will tie together eventually. Like with any story, everyone plays a part, and everyone comes from someplace different. Eventually, everyone meets at one explosive point. That's the true story.
[Report This]Date: 04/09/2006 02:39 am Title: Which is Mostly About A Mother's Love For Her Son
This is a good chapter. I think that Narcissa's feelings as a mother has been projected perfectly. I was a little disappointed that there was no information about the person from the first chapter and wonder how it ties to this chapter and if this was strategically placed here for a reason. I am interested in why Draco seems to be "faking" things a bit more than she thinks. Great imagery again.
[Report This]Date: 04/09/2006 02:35 am Title: In Which An Attack Occurs On Roshire Way
Well, I must say that was a tad dark for me. I don't care to read about children being murdered, which is what I gather happened. You asked for some advice and wondered why there weren't many hits. I think perhaps that this first chapter feels a bit different than most normal HP stories. We see a Sister Mary take on a wizarding family with guns, bullets and laser, and a knife? It just seems a little surreal, but I'm sure there will be an explanation further down the line. It's just a little shocking right off. I wonder if she isn't a Muggle asked to kill wizarding families.
I'm thinking that the whole first bit could be reworked a little when the initial scene is set. There are a dozen paragraphs of narrative before she even gets into their room. Some people are put off by wordiness. I've not ever minded much, though, but I've seen people mention it before. I'm more interested in the reasoning or about the mission itself than the surrounding homes. However, I do know that some authors like to keep things a bit mysterious. I'm not knocking that all all.
Other than that, the writing is good, flows, and brings perfect images as to what exactly is going on.
Author's Response: Thank you for being so thorough in your review and I will really think about what you said. I can certainly see your point.
[Report This]Date: 04/07/2006 01:08 am Title: In Which Chaos Ensues at Azkaban
wow, this is dark and twisted. You know, I think this is the first time I've seen a reference to demons in this sense in hp fic...
Author's Response: It may seem a little...extreme, but Lucius has his reasons. Thanks for reviewing.
[Report This]Date: 04/04/2006 08:42 am Title: Which is Mostly About A Mother's Love For Her Son
ohh...I love your writing style and this is off to a very interesting start! I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words. I will be submitting the next chapter tomorrow so you won't have to wait long!