[Report This]Date: 06/15/2004 02:40 am Title: Chapter Four
The whole maudlin bit was cool.
[Report This]Date: 06/08/2004 04:33 pm Title: Chapter Three
Oh, much, much better than chapter 2 IMHO. The Tabasco thing was great. I guess I would have enjoyed chapter 2 more if she hadn't been so very different from her childhood self. For example, in this chapter the word "bitch" is used really well, but the expletives in chapter 2 just gave the impression of a crass person, not the charming one she shows in her diary.
Author's Response: Great point regarding the crassness! She is a belle, but as you will see in later chapters a belle who's done some cool things.
Will take your advice and tone down the expletives-thank you so much!
I was wondering if you'd give me an opinion of a plan I have for this charater--I want to do a bit of cross over (Vampire Chronicles, namely Lestat and his band) could you maybe drop me an email if you'd be interested in offering your opinion. It's not written , just charater notes (I play God and actually create my charaters from top to bottom when I'm planning a fic)--Need to keep Mary Sue out!
Live long and prosper! Titania (HeroBenedick@sbcglobal.net
[Report This]Date: 06/08/2004 04:18 pm Title: Chapter Two
OK, I know she's been out in the world and has hardened somewhat, but all the "ass" and "prick" seemed off from the character you created in the first chapter. Now she just seems like one of the many, indistiguishable tough, in-your-face ladies from countless Snape fanfics. I think theat southern bell character you created was novel and very promising.
[Report This]Date: 06/04/2004 01:49 am Title: Chapter One
Um... I didn't mention before that the reason I liked it was because it reminded me a lot of "Glass Menagerie" Your main character reminds me of Laura.
[Report This]Date: 06/04/2004 01:47 am Title: Chapter One
I think it's hard to review a single chapter. YOu'll have to post a couple before we can give an honest opinion. So far, it looks good.