I do not own any of the HP characters and am making no money in the writing of this fanfic.
Chapter 5 ~ First Year Charms
“Now, Dudley,” Hermione said as they walked him to first year Charms, trailed by several other young students on their way to the class as well. “I want to prepare you for Professor Flitwick. You see, he’s a little . . . “
”Tough on students,” Harry cut in, grinning.
Hermione frowned at him, then looked back at Dudley.
”That’s not what I was going to say,” she said. “Professor Flitwick is short . . .”
”On patience but long on wind,” Ron interjected. “Gods, Hermione, stop trying to tell Dudders everything. Let him be a man and discover some things on his own.”
”Yeah, Hermione,” Harry said, smiling rather evilly.
Hermione looked reproachful as she responded to Harry and Ron.
”But, Dudley’s never seen . . .”
”I know. First year Charms class. He’ll get through it, Hermione,” Harry said furrowing his eyebrows at her. “He’s a big boy.”
”That’s not what I’m talking about. He needs to know about the professor before he sees him,” Hermione said, “because Professor Flitwick is . . .”
Suddenly Ron caught her by the arm.
”Come on, I’ll walk you to Advanced Arithmancy,” the redhead said as Hermione struggled.
”Ron! You Neanderthal! You let me go right now!” she yelled at him.
Ron let her go for about two seconds before he grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder.
”You know you love my ‘caveman’ approach,” he said to her with a rakish grin.
Hermione and Ron were an item. It was a rather strange match, and Hermione gave him what for constantly, but . . . there was something there. Exactly what was a mystery.
”Oh! You oaf!” Hermione seethed, kicking her legs and beating Ron on his back ineffectively as he said goodbye to Harry and Dudley and carried her away.
She wasn’t going to ruin this for Harry.
The first years behind them laughed as Hermione was toted away, protesting and calling Ron every kind of prat there was.
Dudley looked after them, then at Harry.
”Does he always treat her like that?” Dudley asked.
Harry shook his head.
”No, not always. Sometimes he’s worse,” Harry responded. “But they go out, so Hermione must not mind that much.”
Dudley looked amazed.
”They go out? Wow. I wouldn’t have thought it by the way they talk to each other,” he said, looking perplexed. “She seems so smart. And Ron, well, he’s a git.”
Harry laughed.
”I can’t explain the attraction, Dudley, so don’t ask me,” the boy who lived said, stopping in front of a classroom. “Wait here.”
Harry entered the Charms classroom first, followed by the first years. He looked around but Professor Flitwick wasn’t there. He hadn’t been at breakfast either, so Dudley hadn’t seen him yet. Harry really wanted to be there when he did.
”Drat,” Harry hissed, walking back out the classroom. He was going to have to miss Dudley fainting or something, because he had to go to class.
”The professor isn’t there yet, Dudley. I had wanted to introduce you—but I have to get to class. So just go in,” Harry said a bit sullenly. “I’ll see you later.”
Harry walked off, his shoulders slumping a little. Dudley blinked after him. Harry had seemed very disappointed about such a little thing as not introducing him to a teacher. Why would he do that anyway? New students didn’t need to be introduced to teachers.
Harry was either really overprotective or just plain weird. Dudley believed it was the second choice. He walked into the classroom.
Hufflepuffs shared classes with Ravenclaws, and several youngsters of that house looked at Dudley with curious stares as he walked in and looked down at the little desks. They were the kind with an open front so books could be slid inside. The chairs were tiny too.
”What are you doing in here?” one of the Ravenclaw students asked him, her little face frowned up distastefully. Her name was Celeste Trial. She had long blonde hair, blue-green eyes and attitude.
But her having attitude was no surprise. First year Ravenclaws were usually arrogant little know-it-alls. They became less obnoxious over time, once they understood they weren’t the only brilliant people on the face of the earth.
”I’m taking this class,” Dudley replied as the Ravenclaws all looked at each other then back at Dudley. The Hufflepuffs frowned at them.
”Wow, you must be really stupid,” said another student, a boy named Sylvan Cudlow, who had brown hair and matching eyes
“He’s not stupid!” one of Dudley’s little housemates, Evan Diddles, chirped up in his defense. “He’s a new wizard. He doesn’t know anything about magic. He has to start somewhere!”
The Ravenclaws all laughed, and Sylvan said, “He didn’t know he was a wizard? That proves he’s dumb as a rock.”
Dudley glowered at the smug little prat. Would it be horrible if he picked the little wanker up and turned him upside down for a bit? Probably, but Dudley was tempted to do it anyway.
”Where’s he going to sit? He’s huge,” another Ravenclaw asked, gawking at the muscular wizard.
”Not next to me,” Celeste said, shifting her desk over for emphasis.
”He’ll sit next to me,” Evan declared, looking up at Dudley, who blinked down at the pudgy little wizard. As far as he could see, he couldn’t sit anywhere comfortably.
”The desks are too small,” Dudley said to Evan.
”Duh,” Celeste said witheringly, making her housemates laugh.
Dudley didn’t know what to do. He was being picked on by first years. He couldn’t grab them and put them into headlocks or anything. He just had to take it.
Evan frowned at Celeste.
”If I was allowed, I’d fix it for him. I know the Gorgio spell,” Evan shot at the witch, whose blonde eyebrows rose.
”The ‘Gorgio’ spell?” she repeated, trying to keep a straight face as the other first year Ravenclaws chuckled.
”Yeah, the Gorgio spell,” Evan said rather proudly, waving his wand about importantly.
Dudley just listened. He had no idea what a Gorgio spell was.
Suddenly, the Ravenclaws all gathered around Celeste and some serious whispering went on. They separated, every one of the students looking at Evan with challenge in their eyes.
”I bet you can’t do it,” Celeste said tauntingly. “You’re just saying you know that spell. You don’t.”
”But I do!” Evan declared.
”So cast it on the desk,” Celeste said, pointing to the desk in front of Dudley. “You can change it back before Flitwick comes, unless, you’re lying.”
”I’m not!” Evan said, although he looked a little hesitant.
”So, show us, Hufflepuff,” Sylvan demanded.
”Fine, I will,” Evan said, rolling up his little robe sleeves and pointing his wand at the desk. Dudley looked on, fascinated. It was going to be the first display of wand magic he’d seen since coming to Hogwarts.
Evan made a series of choppy wand motions as he focused on the desk.
”Gorgio!” he cried.
A dark green burst of light emerged from the tip of the shocked little wizard’s wand and bathed the desk in magic. Dudley backed up as the desk began to shudder and grow.
”See!” Evan cried victoriously. “I told you I could do it!”
”That shouldn’t have worked. The proper spell is ‘Engorgio’ not ‘Gorgio,’” Celeste said, wide-eyed as the desk doubled in size. Dudley would definitely be able to fit his legs under it. Then the green light faded and everyone stared at the desk.
Suddenly, it let out a roar, the open part forming a mouth, and it ran forward on its legs straight at Dudley as the other students screamed and fled, turning chairs and desks over.
”Help!” Dudley cried as the vicious desk pursued him around the classroom, apparently oriented on the biggest thing there, which was him.
Desperately, the first years fired “Finite Incantatum” spells at the desk, but they had no effect.
”I’m dead,” Evan groaned as Dudley leapt up on Professor Flitwick’s desk. It was no help, however, because the animated desk climbed up on it using its front legs, and the mouth grabbed Dudley by the foot.
”AAAAARGH!” Dudley screamed, kicking at it with his other foot as the little witches and wizards continued to try and hex it off of him.
”Wingardium Leviosa!” Celeste cried.
Suddenly, the desk floated up into the air, taking Dudley with it. He found himself hanging upside down by his ankle, dangling about five feet from the floor.
”Oh, that helped a lot!” he hissed at Celeste, who shrugged.
She had tried.
”What in the world is going on in here?” a rather squeaky voice demanded.
The students all scuttled away from the dangling Dudley, straightening out the scattered desks and sitting down quickly, trying to look angelic.
Next thing he knew, Dudley was slowly floating down to the floor. When he touched ground, the desk released his foot, becoming inanimate again. Professor Flitwick lowered the desk to the floor and walked up to Dudley, who was gingerly feeling his ankle. It was sore, but not broken.
”Are you all right, young man?” Flitwick asked him.
Dudley looked to see who had addressed him and found himself eye to eye with what was the smallest man he’d ever seen. He had a shock of white hair, wore a rather worn pointed hat and looked absolutely ancient. But, he was perfectly proportioned. He didn’t look like a dwarf—just a very small human being.
Dudley couldn’t answer him. He’d never seen anyone this small before and his tongue seemed as if it were attached to the roof of his mouth. Flitwick cocked his head at him.
”You must be Mr. Dursley,” the diminutive wizard said. “I am Professor Flitwick, your Charms professor. Are you hurt?”
Dudley shook his head, still unable to speak.
”Good. I suggest you pick yourself up then and take a seat,” Flitwick said, pointing his wand at the closest desk and chair and wordlessly enlarging them. He then walked to the front of the class, around his desk and climbed up the pile of books on his chair and settled in.
Dudley got up and walked over to the desk and chair Flitwick had charmed to fit him and sat down.
Flitwick scowled at the class.
”Obviously, someone cast a spell they had no business casting, and erroneously at that. Now, who was it?” he asked the class.
All the Ravenclaws pointed at Evan, who sank down in his seat.
”Mr. Diddles. What spell were you trying to cast and why?” the professor asked him, frowning slightly.
”I was casting the Gorgio spell, Professor. I wanted to make a desk larger so Dudley could sit down,” the boy replied, his face red.
Flitwick clucked his tongue.
”Mr. Diddles, the spell you wanted to use is called the ‘Engorgio’ spell. Because of the mispronunciation, you invoked the ‘Gorgio’ spell, a spell that makes whatever object you charm grow larger and ravenously hungry. Mr. Dursley is lucky the desk did not sprout teeth. You will report to me this evening for detention.”
Evan dropped his head.
”Yes, sir,” he muttered, shifting his eyes toward Celeste, who was smiling at him nastily. She had known he was mispronouncing the word, but she hadn’t known Gorgio was a real spell. She thought nothing would happen.
Flitwick looked at Dudley, who was looking at Evan. He had only been trying to help him, poor little guy.
”Mr. Dursley, you have just received your first lesson in Charms, and that is not to cast a spell unless you know what you’re doing,” Flitwick said to him.
Dudley nodded. Flitwick pointed his wand at a bookshelf on his left and a book pulled itself out of the shelving and floated over to Dudley’s desk, dropping down on it.
”Now, open your books to page forty-one, The Proper Pronunciations of Spells,” the professor directed.
Dudley and the rest of the students did as he asked. If the young man hadn’t nearly been devoured by a ravenous desk, his reaction to Flitwick might have been more pronounced. But a little man was light action compared to a desk that had been brought to life by magic. So, his reaction was rather muted.
Still, what an introduction to Charms.
Harry would piss his trousers with laughter when he found out what happened to his cousin. Ron would probably pass out completely from lack of oxygen, unable to inhale properly because of hysterics.
Of course, Hermione wouldn’t find it funny at all and yell at the both of them. But that didn’t matter.
Dudley was nearly better entertainment than a Quidditch match.
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A/N: Another chapter. Thanks for reading.