[Report This]Date: 04/12/2006 07:12 pm Title: Hermione has been hiding something from her parents ...
Lovely- in a poignant, quietly devastaing sort of way! This was a great point-of-view to see from characters we really don't know that much about. You captured the helplessness these parents all feel, in their own ways, knowing they are watching their children head into certain danger without being able to do anything about it. That last line is quite the sucker punch: how many would be coming back, indeed? So well done!
Author's Response: Worse still, of course, if, like the Grangers, you have no clue about what's going on.
[Report This]Date: 03/31/2006 06:16 pm Title: Hermione has been hiding something from her parents ...
That's really powerful -- particularly the final paragraph.
Author's Response: Oddly, the idea for the story came to me just a couple of days ago, almost fully fledged, and I just sat down and wrote it. The difficulty with all these stories is knowing how to end them, unless they're building up some particular climax. Then I remembered mentioning photographs earlier - and it went from there.
[Report This]Date: 03/30/2006 01:39 pm Title: Hermione has been hiding something from her parents ...
Wonderful! I find this a much stronger story than the last one, as there's no confusion about locations, or changing time periods. You really have a great grasp on Mr. Granger's voice, and you've touched upon so many issues that most of us haven't ever thought about, like not being able to visit the school or understand Hermione's report cards. Perhaps the most insightful line was this one: "It's one thing knowing your daughter can do these things, and another actually seeing her doing them." I loved all the little touches of humor as well. It never occured to me to think of how Hermione's parents view Arthur, and your interpretation was just so perfect, it made me chuckle: "Well, the family seemed decent enough, even if Mr Weasley could bore for Britain. No, that's a bit unfair. It's just I wish he'd talk about something other than plugs or batteries. I'm still being unfair. Perhaps to him, they're as exotic as ... well, wands to us. But I still wish he'd shut up." Things like this really help to give the reader a break from the seriousness of the situation at hand, without detracting from it's overall effectiveness at all. I only have two teensy suggestions: the sentence "Then I remembered McGonagall and the armchair" won't make sense to anyone who hasn't read your other story, and this part: "it wasn't until three years later that we discovered she'd spent weeks Petrified in the hospital wing" seems a little out of place considering the way you end the story - "How many of them would be coming back?" Those are just minor details though, and overall, it was a wonderful story!
Author's Response: I couldn't resist the McGonagall/armchair!
And I was in two minds about the Petrified - but, on the other hand, it does give the idea that Hermione comes back safely. Mr Granger wasn't to know that at the time, though.
But thank you for the review - very kind.
I'll have to think of another Granger scenario ...